So I’m sitting last night having a lovely dinner with 3 of my nearest and dearest friends. Half way through the meal, I’m overcome with a throbbing headache (Thanks to many sleepless nights with my youngest), and I transition from talking to mostly listening, and I’m really enjoying every moment of it. They’re all beautiful, amazing people – accomplished in their own ways. I soak in their presence, and I’m literally in bliss. I love taking in the stories, the insights, the humor, but along the way I realized in the midst of all this bliss…my worst fear has come true – I’M BORING! Well maybe not my WORST fear, but it’s up there 🙂 I’m a few weeks behind on current events, I haven’t traveled much as of late, I don’t meet new people often, and when I do…I don’t try that hard (unless someone REALLY wows me) because, I’m happy with the friends I have, and quite frankly I’m too tired to try 🙂 Unlike work, you have to make nice and cultivate those new relationships, but when you’re home, it’s really on your own terms, and currently making new friends is at the bottom of my list.
I’ve also realized, I’m not as good a conversationalist as I used to be. My BS skills have seriously deteriorated. Work helped me keep that skill sharp, but alas, it’s gone by the wayside 🙂 Even when I’m funny, it’s usually about my kids, and honestly, even I get tired of talking/hearing about them 🙂
It’s a little sad. Maybe it’s temporary (I hope!) . Maybe my brain is just mush and can’t function as quickly or as keenly as before. Witty comments just don’t slide off the tongue as easily as they used to 🙂 Lack of sleep can do that to a person! Thankfully, I’m lucky I’ve already made my friends and they love me regardless – or maybe it’s just too late to get rid of me 🙂