Hilarious! (Thank You Wesam!)

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.

Sincerely,

Unicorns

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no bloodpumping through them, they can never get an erection.Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely,

Logic

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.

Sincerely,

The Titanic

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear America,

You produced Miley Cyrus.

Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely,

Canada

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Yahoo,

I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…”

just saying…

Sincerely,

Google

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black?

WTF happened?!

Sincerely,

1985

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Windshield Wipers,

Can’t touch this.

Sincerely,

That Little Triangle

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Rose,

There was definitely room on that Door for the both of us.

Sincerely,

Jack

PS, you let go

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding!

They’re all dead.

Sincerely,

BP

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Saturn,

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely,

God

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Fox News,

So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely,

Unimpressed

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,

Please lknvfdmv.xvn.

Sincerely,

Stevie Wonder

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Nickleback,

That’s enough.

Sincerely,

The World

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,

Please make one for every skin color.

Sincerely,

Black people

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.

Sincerely,

Sarah Palin

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Osama Bin Laden,

Marco….

Sincerely,

United States

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear World of Warcraft,

Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.

Sincerely,

Parents Everywhere

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Batman,

What was your power again?

Sincerely,

Superman

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Customers

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.

Sincerely,

Nail Salon Ladies

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Global Warming,

You’re the best imaginary friend ever!

Sincerely,

Al Gore

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Ugly People,

You’re welcome.

Sincerely,

 Alcohol

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Katy Perry,

I liked the kiss too.

Sincerely,

Justin Beiber

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012.

Our calendars ends there because

some Spanish d-bags invaded our country

and we got a little busy ok?

Sincerely,

The Mayans

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear White People,

Don’t you just hate immigrants?

Sincerely,

Native Americans

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear iPhone,

Please stop spellchecking all of my rude

words into nice words. You piece of shut.

Sincerely,

Every iPhone User

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,

Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die.

CRAP! Where did you go?

Sincerely,Terrified

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Trash,

At least you get picked up…

Sincerely,

The Girls of Jersey Shore

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Man,

It’s cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Sincerely,

Elephant

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Dr. Phil,

Look man, there’s only room for one fake doctor

in this world and I was here first.

Sincerely,

Dr. Pepper

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