I’d like to start out by saying that I don’t really agree with this article. Getting a little tired of the articles trying to justify what some of these men do (the “he can’t help it” syndrome). Yes, fidelity may be hard(er) for men (or so I keep hearing). I can accept that they are visual creatures and that is a factor to consider, etc. BUT, I think a man of good character (which is what women should be looking for in a person), is a man of good character. Good looks don’t make a bad man, and an ugly man doesn’t automatically make a good (faithful) man. As the wise Chris Rock once said,
“A man is only as faithful as his options..”
There is an entertaining article in the Onion about a man who has stayed faithful after 42 years, despite every effort to cheat http://www.theonion.com/articles/husband-still-faithful-after-42-years-of-trying-to,2819/
It’s probably easier for an overweight, unattractive, unemployed or socially awkward man to stay faithful (or say he will stay faithful) to his wife if his options are limited. Good looking, charismatic men, particularly those in the public eye, have more exposure and perhaps more opportunity. An “unattractive” man, were he to have the opportunity to do so and not get caught, if he is not a man of good character to begin with, would probably take it. Again, the ONLY thing I think that would keep a man “in check” is his character, and for Muslim men at least, much of that is rooted in their faith and their love/fear of God. I’d love to say that it’s out of love and commitment to his wife, and I think/hope that for some men, it very well may be. But I think there are many out there who can compartmentalized the 2 – some who may genuinely love their wives and be content with their home life, but may still fall into the downward spiral that is cheating if there isn’t something more keeping them faithful -particularly if there are women making advances on them (another issue all together). That “something more” is their conscience…their good character, their devotion to God that extends to their devotion to his wife/children.
Anyway, at the end of the day, the myriad of articles out there are just excuses – and perhaps a means of slowly making it more and more publicly acceptable to the masses or perhaps an effort to make marriage obsolete. I really don’t know. I just know everywhere I turn these days there is an article talking about marriage and fidelity and why men cheat.
Anyway, ultimately, a man of good character, good-looking or not, will control himself and put his family and (if he has it) his faith first. I’m not a social scientist but I think women tend to cheat more if they are dissatisfied. Perhaps I’m a pessimist where this is concerned, but I think men just require less “motivation” to go down that destructive path. So ladies…make your criteria good character, first and foremost. Even Martin Luther King spoke of a day where people would be judged on the “content of their character” – so let’s not make assumptions about anyone from what we see externally and take the time to know there is some substance behind the outer facade (no matter how “good-looking” or “unattractive” it may seem).