Talking pineapple question on state exam stumps … everyone! NY Daily News

this is ridiculous…one more reason not to be a fan of standarized testing.  Here are the actual questions.  Click on the link for the rest of the article.

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/talking-pineapple-question-state-exam-stumps-article-1.1064657

The Hare and the Pineapple

by Daniel  Pinkwater
In olden times, the animals of the forest could speak  English just like you and me. One day, a pineapple challenged a hare to a  race.

(I forgot to mention, fruits and vegetables were able to speak too.)

A hare is like a rabbit, only skinnier and faster. This particular hare was  known to be the fastest animal in the forest.

“You, a pineapple have the nerve to challenge me, a hare, to a race,” the  hare asked the pineapple. “This must be some sort of joke.”

“No,” said the pineapple. “I want to race you. Twenty-six miles, and may the  best animal win.”
“You aren’t even an animal!” the hare said. “You’re a  tropical fruit!”

“Well, you know what I mean,” the pineapple said.

The animals of the forest thought it was very strange that tropical  fruit should want to race a very fast animal.
“The pineapple has some  trick up its sleeve,” a moose said.
Pineapples don’t have sleeves, an  owl said
“Well, you know what I mean,” the moose said. “If a pineapple  challenges a hare to a race, it must be that the pineapple knows some secret  trick that will allow it to win.”
“The pineapple probably expects us to  root for the hare and then look like fools when it loses,” said a crow. “Then  the pineapple will win the race because the hare is overconfident and takes a  nap, or gets lost, or something.”
The animals agreed that this made  sense. There was no reason a pineapple should challenge a hare unless it had a  clever plan of some sort. So the animals, wanting to back a winner, all cheered  for the pineapple.
When the race began, the hare sprinted forward and  was out of sight in less than a minute. The pineapple just sat there, never  moving an inch.
The animals crowded around watching to see how the  pineapple was going to cleverly beat the hare. Two hours later when the hare  cross the finish line, the pineapple was still sitting still and hadn’t moved an  inch.

The animals ate the pineapple.
MORAL: Pineapples don’t have  sleeves

Beginning with paragraph 4, in what order are the events in the story  told?
A switching back and forth between places
B In the order  in which the events happen
C Switching back and forth between the past  and the present
D In the order in which the hare tells the events to  another animal

The animals ate the pineapple most likely because  they were

A Hungry

B Excited

C Annoyed

D Amused
Which animal spoke the wisest words?

A The hare

B The moose

C The crow

D The owl
Before the race, how did the animals feel toward the  pineapple?

A Suspicious

B Kindly

C Sympathetic

D Envious
What would have happened if the animals had decided to  cheer for the hare?

A The pineapple would have won the race.

B They would have been mad at the hare for winning.

C The hare would have just sat there and not moved.

D They would have been happy to have cheered for a winner.
When the  moose said that the pineapple has some trick up its sleeve, he means that the  pineapple
A is wearing a disguise

B wants to show the animals a trick

C has a plan to fool the animals

D is going to put something out of its sleeve

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/talking-pineapple-question-state-exam-stumps-article-1.1064657#ixzz1sd4VO0fk

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